Giving her access to my entire contact list caused me a bit of grief for a while, but after I paid a lawyer a handsome sum to get a judge to whack a restraining order on her, it's pretty much been smooth sailing ever since.
I mean I get those calls where you answer and all you hear is heavy breathing, but that's fine. I had just started dating a guy when I was offered a job in another city. It was exactly what I wanted to do so I couldn't turn it down. We broke it off, and I moved away. Inevitably, I continued to message him, which is an easy habit to fall into when you've just relocated and you've got no mates.
Every so often — usually when we were both a bit drunk — we'd start sending each other nudes over Snapchat. It was fun.
No regrets. Except the one. One time I snapped a particularly explicit pic and sent it to him via Snapchat. Sadly for me, rather than sending it to him and him alone, I uploaded it onto my Snapchat story, meaning everyone connected to me got to see it.
I've got three younger brothers, and the thought of them opening it up absolutely mortified me. I added another snap on my Story that just said, "Sorry, Snapchat-fraped", but I'm almost certain no one believed me. That was six months ago now, and I still haven't returned home to visit the family. I'm going to let it die down a little bit more. Remember when everyone was really into Game of Thrones? Not me. I thought it was shitty. I hate fantasy crap and I can just use the internet for nudity, so it's really not my thing.
However, a few years back there was an episode where all these characters got brutally murdered at this wedding. It was apparently a big deal, and everyone at work was like, "Woah, woah. Don't tell me what happened last night.
I haven't watched it yet," when anyone mentioned the show. Intrigued, I watched the scene at work. It was pretty good actually — lots of blood and gore and whatnot. Then I had an idea. For a laugh, I pulled everyone into a meeting and loaded up the projector thingy we have.
I'm pretty high up at my company, so no one really bats an eye if I call meetings. As soon as everyone was sitting down, I whacked on the scene right when all the people start getting killed. Man, everyone was so pissed, it was like I ruined that film where Bruce Willis is dead all along or something.
One dude looked like he was going to cry. Another said he didn't mind, because he'd read all the books so he knew it would happen, which made me quietly furious. Still, it totally ruined everyone's day.
Later that night I was telling my dad about it over Whatsapp. He agreed it was an ingenious prank. But this was after I'd accidentally sent the text detailing my scheme to my girlfriend, not dad. She loved GoT and hadn't watched it either. Este material no era para ti. This trip wasn't meant for you Paul. Este viaje no era para ti Paul.
That last one wasn't meant for you. This wasn't meant for you , Michael. Esto no era para ti , Michael. That message wasn't meant for you. El mensaje no era para ti. I tried to tell you the maze wasn't meant for you.
It wasn't meant for you , I swear! No era para ti , te lo juro! It wasn't meant for you. Eso no era para ti. It wasn't meant for you to have that moment. The maze wasn't meant for you. El laberinto no se hizo para ti. Por wasn't meant for you , Kim.
Por no era el correcto para ti , Kim. Look, the shot wasn't meant for you. I beg your pardon, but that water wasn't meant for you. Les ruego que me disculpen, pero el agua no era para ustedes. But I believe
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